Had my second visit with my new head-shrinker. I wasn’t very impressed with him after our first visit. He seemed more interested in sending me on my way with my current percentage rate intact as long as I didn’t rock the boat, because they are not interested in doing life-long care. I’m not saying that I’ll require therapy for the rest of my days, but I am not where I need to be to be a fully functional member of society. Nor am I sure that I want to be a fully functional member of society…again. Look what it did to me the last time I played nice with others.
Did the Army thing for a few years. People tried to kill me. It didn’t set well with me. However, I was resilient for 24 years. Had a nice and healthy break-down. Was going to kill my co-workers, because they deserved it. Freaked out and ran to the mountains of Montana. Got help. I’m better. Really don’t want to go down that path again.
Anyway, during the last visit I had an emotional moment. This seemed to grab his attention. Apparently, if you cry in your therapists office they get all excited and want to “help” you.
All the crap that is/has been going on in the VA system is nothing new to those of us who have been in the system for many years. I was allowed to walk around for 24 years with no help like a human time bomb. My physical disability was neglected to the point it has affected other areas of my body. I am now of an age where the doctors say stuff like “that is to be expected in someone of your age”. NO SHIT!, but why in the hell have I been in pain for 20 some years before I got to this age? If anyone would have taken the time to talk to me they might have figured out that I was the poster boy for PTSD years ago. We’ll never know because NO ONE in the VA system gave two shits about anything but holding onto their cushy little jobs and benefits. Is that an exaggeration? Yes, I am sure that someone cared about us vets. However, I never found them. This is how many vets feel. Lost, abandoned, no hope. We were/are left to our own devices. Drugs, alcohol, crime, solitary lifestyle. These are things that some of us fall into.
It is no wonder that we are losing soldiers/veterans to suicide on a daily basis. I have contemplated taking the long walk many times. I had the route picked out, the mode of transportation, just needed the nudge to push me over. Luckily, I always had something to do. Something that I wanted to accomplish before I shook off this mortal coil. People like to say that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. 20+ years is not feeling very temporary. I know that I am not the only one who was left out in the cold and even chased away at times.
Anyway, you are not alone. There are a lot of us that no one seems to care about. We are a group. We are family. We can care about each other, and sometimes that is all it takes, just knowing that someone cares.
In a nutshell I just described socialized government run healthcare. Enjoy your Obamacare. Those of us who have been living this nightmare for years tried to warn you. Suck it, NEWBS!
I always like writing these kinds of posts. I never know exactly where I will end up. I know that I have something to say, but then I get distracted and wander down paths of unknown origin.